Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Indian Born Confused Desi

I was on my way home from the Newark Airport. I was supposed to take the Air Train, which takes you from the airport terminals to the train station. The Air Train is an unmanned computerized train which keeps moving round the clock, stopping at the 5 stops on the airport. On April 17th, the Air trains were working on a delayed schedule due to preventive maintenance. The trains which usually arrive once every 4 minutes, were now working every 20 minutes or so. I was supposed to take the train from Terminal C. When I reached there, I saw this humongously huge crowd. Suddenly, this small serene station had turned into a chaotic room full of nonsense. And I say nonsense because all sorts of people were tryin to do all sorts of things. There was this couple, which was continuously banging at the elevator button, in anticipation that it would arrive faster. They kept babbling that this is freakin crazy and that they wanted to take the cab home. Then there was this huge man who was asking the 'assistance and information' lady if it was a good idea to take the train that goes the other way and eventually come back with it (he was more worried about getting a seat. There were oldies, kids, business travelers and even airport employees all having their own specialized inputs about how 'ridiculous' this was and that Newark Airport was not what it used to be...etc. etc. The most pressurized person was the red jacketed customer service representative from the airport. She was an old Asian lady with a walkie-talkie in her hand. She looked dazed, because realistically she was as clueless about the things as was everyone else. She looked like she was standing at the epicenter of confusion. She was bombarded with atleast a dozen different kind of questions in one voice from all directions.

Person X: Why is the Airtrain on delayed service?
Person Y: Can the connecting train to New York be held till this train reaches there?
Person Z: Is there an ATM around here?
A polished business traveler: I am sorry to bother you and I in no way want to add to your confusion, but is there any way you can tell me where the closest restroom is?
Person A: CAN I JUST WALK TO THE TRAIN STATION???
Person B: I am assuming that if I miss this train, I'll have to wait for another twenty minutes??

So basically the station was filled with confused and lost passengers like these.
And then there was me....Chilled out, at peace and enjoying a game of pool on my cell phone. I was in no hurry whatsoever to get home. After a while, I wasn't interested any more in the chaos. I was just happy doing my own thing.Frankly, it was simple ...the trains were running late. All one had to do was just wait for some time and get on the next train. And I just couldn't understand why people refused to realize this simple logic Suddenly the chatter of the people rose to an alarming level, I turned to look back and the next thing I see is the customer assistance lady actually climbing on a seat and yelling out :

"PLEASE PAY ATTENTION! THE AIRTRAIN IS WORKING ON A DELAYED SERVICE, THE TRAINS ARE ARRIVING EVERY TWENTY MINUTES. SO PLEASE HAVE PATIENCE! THE TRAINS FOR TERMINALS A, B AND C LEAVE FROM THAT TRACK! AND THE TRAINS FOR THE PARKING GARAGE AND THE RAIL LINK STATION LEAVE FROM THIS ONE. THE RESTROOMS AND THE ATMS ARE HERE......AND THE FOOD COURT IS DOWNSTAIRS!!! ...THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN REACH NEW YORK FASTER.....UNLESS YOU WANNA SPEND FIFTY BUCKS ON A CAB!! WHENEVER THE TRAIN COMES IN PLEASE ALLOW THE PASSENGERS TO GET OUT FIRST!...THANK YOU!"

Wow, I loved that...they were like marching orders which suddenly made everyone stand in silence and look up to her. She said that in the most courteous manner but everyone knew it meant, " JUST STAND HERE!!...SHUT UP!!......AND STOP SCREWING ME!!!"

Everyone stood in pin-drop silence. Everyone thought twice before starting a conversation, coz everyone knew it would be heard loud n clear throughout the station.

All this while I was looking at this indian man. He looked from the southern part of india and must be in his late twenties. He looked like a perfect example of someone from a long flight. I could see him raise himself to say something. I was now inquisitive about the kind of question he was about to ask, because the lady had pretty much clarified everything. I was happy that he was loud and clear when he began to speak. All he said was ...

" Esss...Cuze me..... the air train is not working.??"

I burst into laughter. I kept on laughing. I knew I hadn't laughed this much for months. While I was laughing, i could easily see that I was the only one laughing so hard. I crouched, stood up again, and crouched again. There were people smiling, staring and some were slowly joining my laughter. After I finished, I started looking around, and the Indian guy was no where to be seen. I looked at the lady and shook heads.


4 comments:

Rakesh Pai said...

Ha Ha.

Only if late trains were such a dramatic affair in India.

Anonymous said...

hmm cool viku.. this ws really funny.. by the way u write well haan.. keep it up..

Anonymous said...

I loved the way u wrote, " ezz. cuse me" good work man

Anonymous said...

Viku...its not good to laugh at fellow Indians in a foreign land :))
Good writing...always fun reading ur blog...hope you could write a little about your life back in India too.